


With All We've Been Through...

by avagueidea



Series: It's Still Happening [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Holt family reunion, M/M, Matt is Rescued!!, Multi, OT3, They've all been through so goddamn much they need some love and affection, exploring their individual relationships and how they work all together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-09-10 19:39:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8934418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avagueidea/pseuds/avagueidea
Summary: Sometimes Shiro needs someone to take care of him... and so does Allura... and as it turns out so does Matt.Shiro navigates saving the galaxy, his love for more than one person (both of whom are suddenly in the same room), and remembering to breathe.





	1. Some Much Needed Rest

**Author's Note:**

> Taking a quick break from [Communication: In Space](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8842795%22) because I wrote a bunch of stuff up after [DumpsterDiva](http://archiveofourown.org/users/dumpsterdiva/) did a buncha adorable Shiro/Matt shorts for me, (they're hella cute!). And then I'm just such a sucker for OT3s so... this happened.

        Shiro had always liked the humming of a starships engine, ever since he won the Jr. Cadets Award when he was 9 and was allowed to ‘assist’ in an actual mission. Starships didn’t have a set rhythm to them, but the sounds were constantly there, a reminder of the mechanical life whirling around him. Back at the Garrison he had asked to keep the room next to the utilities, even after his seniority offered him more ideal choices. There was a comfort in those confined quarters with the furnace running next to him. It gave him the comfort of space even when he was down on earth, and with it a peace of mind.

        The castle was quiet. It was so smoothly made that there were no hums or rumble. It might as well have been sitting on the ground, except there were no sounds of nature filtering in to make up for the stifling silence. The whole place felt dead the second company left and the doors slid shut.

        The only thing worse, to Shiro, than the dead silence, was the little singular noises that broke through it, noises from the neglect of ten thousand years’ dormancy. There wasn’t _much_ out of place, a marvel in and of itself, but occasionally something would go just a little wrong. Maybe he could have stood the complete silence, if there was nothing else to be drowned out, but this almost silence grated on his nerves. It was little things; something would beep a few corridors down every thirty seconds. The door to his quarters would locked and unlocked in repeating security checks as the castle ran through malfunctioning diagnostics. Something would come loose in a ventilation shaft and what should have been perfectly quiet air came into his room with an echoing click that was so soft it was impossible to tell exactly how far down it came from.

        Shiro hated those sorts of noises. They only reminded him he was alone.

        One night a particular tapping wouldn’t let him sleep. He tried a pillow over his head, crushing it against his ear to block out the sound, leaving it so faint that he wasn’t even sure if he still heard it. In the end it didn’t matter if he really could or if his mind supplied it; he _knew_ it was there. He tried pushing his fingers into his ears, wondering if he could fall asleep keeping his hands like that, but while it blocked the sound, it just left him alone with his heartbeat. The thumping in his ear felt so harsh he didn’t know how he ignored it the rest of the time. Suddenly he could feel it pounding away in every limb…

        It was nights like this when he’d fitfully fall asleep and wake up with the distinct feeling, the _knowledge_ that he didn’t have an arm. He’d clench with the phantom limb and, of course, the Galra arm would acknowledge. Before he could recognize what was going on, he would be tearing into his mattress.

        The first time this had happened Shiro had mentioned it casually and Allura had replaced the mattress instantly. She’d smiled and assured him it was no big deal, and in that moment, Shiro had believed her. She had a way about her that made anything she said true, even the blatant lies. The second time he didn’t mention it for a week or so, and when offered a new mattress, he’d insisted he didn’t need it. He would be find with the little tare. The third, fourth, fifth times, he didn’t mention it at all.

        He was supposed to be the leader. He was the Adult™ and he had to have it together to be able to take care of his squad. They were just a bunch of kids, really. Not that he wasn’t. Being over the age of 20 didn’t magically make him grown up. He was the leader because he had to be. Because he was the ranking officer and they needed him to act like it. Because it was easiest to be calm and collected when it was for someone else, anyone else, but himself. That didn’t make him grown up. That didn’t mean that, when it was just him sitting in his room, he had any idea what he was doing.

        This night, something ticked in the air vent. It rattled and his brain rattled with it. He hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in too many days in a row and tonight didn’t seem any more promising.

        Shiro pushed his human fingers into the hole his inhuman one’s had made most recently, wiggling them past the spongey substance inside the mattress to a springy honeycomb structured center. It had a strangely natural feel and he wondered if they harvested this stuff from something rather than making it. He poked at it a few more times.

        Alteans harvesting mattresses.

        Shiro snorted. Then he laughed full out. He couldn’t get the image of Coran pulling a mattress out of the dirt like a carrot out of his head. He’d be such a proud farmer for picking a California king sized one. A good harvest. Shiro was glad he was alone because he didn’t think he could explain the tears pricking up at the corner of his eyes as he tried to stop the laughs from bursting out of himself in little trickles.

 

        He wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, but it seemed all too early that his brain was waking him up again. He furrowed his brow and told himself to go back to sleep. He could _feel_ that it was too soon. It was too late; his brain was already booting into awake mode. He let out a frustrated sigh into his pillow.

        Shiro reached over to illuminate the room dimly by the clock readout popping up. It’d been three hours. That wasn’t good, but it was better than nothing. He knew it was the sort of sleep he’d scold Pidge or Keith for getting, but he didn’t have the luxury of taking the day off to pretend there was any chance he’d get more sleep. His team needed him.

        He pushed himself out of bed and started getting ready for the day.

 

        Shiro took in a breath and held it there. Before he let it out, everything seemed to pause. Eventually it came out in a loud rush and he was back in the stark white little room, water just shy of scalding rushing over him.

        Most of the paladins would claim Lance took the longest showers, but this wasn’t true. Shiro had seen the water usage log and could vouch for Lance’s innocence. He only took the most frequent, but they were actually very short. He didn’t think anyone should really be surprised at that; he could practically hear the blue paladin commenting something about how long hot showers dried out your skin. Pidge was nearly the worst offender, but took them the least often, which compensated for the length. It was Shiro, actually, who held the honor of highest water usage. The showers were his time to breathe, or not breathe for a moment when necessary.

        He ran his fingers through his hair and frowned at the fact that he could get a grip on the back of it. How long had it been since he’d had it cut? He’d managed to keep it trimmed even while imprisoned. It seemed wrong to let it get shabby when he was supposed to be leading the fight for the freedom of the galaxy.

 

        He brought his towel with him, and slipped on a loose pair of pants and undershirt before going wandering around the castle. He went on ruffling at his hair to get it dry as he searched for Coran. He seemed like the man to find for a haircut. He’d be surprised to hear that he wasn’t also a barber of some sort.

        Peering into the command room he found Allura just coming out instead.

         “Oh,” she stopped short, “Shiro, good morning. You’re up early,” she noted. Shiro only then remembered the time. Right… Coran probably wasn’t going to be up yet.

         “Can never get too early of a start,” he replied automatically. He paused, looking her over. She was in her combat suit, which she usually didn’t wear unless she needed to, her preference leaning heavily towards her dresses. She’d joined them on the mission the day before, though.

         “Allura,” he took out his scolding tone, usually reserved for Pidge being up for too many days in a row on a new project, or Lance… well Lance, “Have you not slept yet?” The princess looked shocked to be called out.

         “I-no, I suppose I haven’t,” she admitted.

         “Were planning to?” he asked, putting hands on his hips and giving her his best ‘you better be’ look.

         “Ha! Shiro, are you scolding me?” she asked with a light chuckle, stepping around him.

         “It sure sounds like it,” he replied. He knew he didn’t actually have any room to criticize, but that had never stopped him before. He stepped in her way again, even if he knew she could just pick him up and toss him aside if she wanted. She looked absolutely shocked.

         “I see why they call you dad,” she said with a light smile, and then yawned despite herself. At the dramatic raised eyebrow she received she put up her hands.  “Okay. I will make sure to schedule a nap.”

        Shiro let his shoulders drop along with his ‘dad mode’.

         “They really call me dad?” he asked, somewhere between amused and horrified.

         “Oh yes,” she replied, “Affectionately, of course,” she tagged on for him. He shook his head a little, taking this in, but eventually went on rather than lingering too much on it.

         “What were you doing all night?” he asked.

         “Watching the stars…” she replied looking back over her shoulder. Her voice fell so soft and melodic that Shiro barely realized how horrible of an answer that was. He was about ready to accept it as a legitimate response even. “And looking over the new intelligence data we received from that vagabond for possible weak spots. Though I’m afraid my father was always the grand tactician, but I have been pouring over his old files on battle tactics and I think I am understanding it a bit better,” she tagged on quickly, glancing back to Shiro with a calm and certain expression. Shiro realized he knew that face, he knew that tone. She was being strong… for him.

        Shiro reached over to put a hand on her shoulder.

         “We’re a team now. None of us have to be perfect at everything. We’ll get everyone’s input at the briefing this afternoon and form a plan,” he said with certainty. Her shoulders tensed, but when their eyes met she relaxed.

         “You’re right,” she said with a soft sigh. “I… just need to do _something_ for the team.” He squeezed her shoulder.

         “Allura. You do a ton for the mission. You know that, right? You’re the backbone of Team Voltron. We’d have no idea what we were doing without you.” He meant that too. What were a bunch of humans going to do with this ancient interstellar war? Allura was an amazing leader, honestly way better than he could dream of being. He supposed that was why she was a princess; raised to rule and probably never could have been anything else if she tried.

         “My goodness. If we’re getting this deep into reassuring _me_ , would you like to tell us why _you_ are up at this hour?” Allura said, but her hand had found its way to lay over Shiro’s on her shoulder. She was smiling softly.

         “Ah, well,” Shiro pulled his hand back automatically and ran it through his still damp hair. That was a good enough excuse, “I was actually wondering if I could find some hair trimming supplies. I’d like to clean this all up,” he grabbed at the grown out undercut, “before the team is up, so I didn’t cut into training time.” It was plausible enough to get him off the hook.

         “Ah…” Allura nodded, “Would you like me to cut it?” she asked.

         “You cut hair?” He looked over her beautiful locks that didn’t look like they’d been cut a single time in her life.

         “I am quite skilled at many things,” Allura assured with such confidence that, well, like usual, Shiro believed it. He wasn’t sure if he’d come to regret that decision later, but he shrugged and nodded.

         “Lead the way.”

 

        Allura brought Shiro back to her own room so casually that he actually felt a little embarrassed being led in so unceremoniously. It was a little larger than the rooms that the paladins had taken up residence in, but that didn’t surprise him. What did surprise him was the mess. It wasn’t chaos and clutter like Pidge’s room was slowly becoming, but it wasn’t precise and pristine. He had expected everything to be exactly in its assigned place from the princess, but there were a few haphazard piles instead of neat stacks and a couple drawers left half opened. It felt like a side of Allura he wasn’t supposed to see without more of an introduction.

        Allura led him to the attached bathing room, pulling out a basket of neatly packed up hair cutting supplies from the large vanity. “I used to shave off the entire underside of my head,” she explained as she pulled out trimmers. “This is a lot of hair to manage, particularly when in combat training. I hadn’t learned the art of buns yet, or have the patience to braid it all up. Plus, it got so hot in the Altean summers, at least in the central continents…” she said clearly remembering the relief of hacking off her hair in the summer, as she let out a sigh just from the memory.

         “I can’t picture you without all the hair,” Shiro admitted, smiling at how easily she was talking. Coran was usually the one to bring up random facts about their old home planet. Allura was… more reserved. Coran coped by remembering the good times, Allura bottled it away so it couldn’t hurt her. Little bits like this, though, Shiro thought it must be healthy to let out.

         “Oh, yes, I kept the top about shoulder length and just got rid of ALL this,” she said, raking her fingers through the whole underside of her hair and gathering it up. “It was fairly common for those training in combat once it hit mid-tilt,” she informed. “A mass shaving would always occur. I became a bit of a barber among the troops,” she assured. She picked out the one she’d use and walked over to pull a short stool out of the bathing area. She sat herself down on it and gestured for him to sit on the ground in front of he. He complied without a thought. As soon as he settled, cross-legged in front of her, she reached out and pushed her fingers through his quickly drying hair. In an instant the firm pressure of her slender but strong fingers over his scalp released a tension he had no idea he’d been holding onto. His whole body felt like it was trying to just melt into himself and he had to straighten back up to keep from going entirely limp. Behind him Allura chuckled, but didn’t say anything. Instead she just adjusted him forward where she needed him, not afraid to force his head around in the slightest.

        It was nice. The trimmers clicked on and though there wasn’t that familiar buzz, he’d grown used to that over the year in the prison camp. The dull pressure over his head and sound of snipping hair was enough. She turned his head for him, a hand on the top of it moving it as need be. There was a firmness and caring in the precision of her actions. Shiro wondered if this was how she did all of the soldiers’ hair, with the same affectionate steadiness. He had no doubt that every soldier under her command adored her. How could they not?

        Shiro’s eyes had fallen closed at the beginning, leaving this experience to the rest of his senses because they had enough on their own. Even the scent of the bathroom and Allura looming over him, day old training clothes and still smelling of a warm, earthy floral. The bathroom carried the scent too and Shiro wondered how weird it would be to request some of her soap. Probably too weird.

        Shiro let his head be pushed down to work on the nap of his neck, to the side to get at the ears, up right to even out the fade with precise scissor work. He trusted this all to Allura’s steady hand. When the pressure finally left the top of his head he was actually disappointed the hair cut was over. Allura’s fingers lightly dusted the fallen hair off him and Shiro worked up the will to get up from his peaceful little spot between the princess’ knees. Luckily, before he had to, fingers found their way back into his hair. They ran across the newly trimmed fuzz over the back and sides of his scalp and trailed up into the longer part left on top. The fingers raked through the hair firmly and came back rubbing little circles roughly in his scalp.

        Shiro let out a long sigh and leaned back into Allura. Nothing could convince him to care how inappropriate it was. She hummed lightly and pushed back forward through his hair to repeat the massaging trail back. She kept on like this for a nearly a full minute before she let her fingers fall back into his short trimmed sides. Leaning over him she finally spoke.

         “Come to bed with me,” her voice was so soft the contents of the comment were almost lost on Shiro. When the actual words filtered through the calm that had settled onto his mind, tension instantly jumped back into his body. He pulled his head out of his hands and turned back around to stare. He hoped his face wasn’t as red as it felt.

         “Excuse me?” he asked, clearing his voice when it caught in his throat.

         “We both need sleep and I could use a warm body as much as you, I think,” she said so pragmatically that Shiro was almost disappointed.

         “Oh… I,” he should say no. Every practical bone in his body told him to politely decline. But those weren’t the ones he was listening to. She was looking at him and he wasn’t sure if it was the tension in her posture, or the tiredness showing under her bright, blue eyes, but he couldn’t find it in him to refuse. So he gave in and nodded. “I can’t say you’re wrong,” he finally admitted.

         “Good, dust yourself off, I’ll clean it up later,” she said, standing and stepping over him. “I’m going to go change,” she said walking off and leaving Shiro to shake himself off, from both the haircut and the offer. This was a horrible idea, of course. Absolutely amazing, but horrible. He could already tell he’d never be able to go back to sleeping alone after this. Just her fingers through his hair had left him more at peace then he’d felt since before he’d known aliens even existed.

        He walked out to catch her just tugging on a thin cotton top and he wondered what he might have seen if he’d taken just a moment less to shake himself off. The casualness of that possibility sort of… relieved him though. Whatever this was, it wasn’t calculated, it was just her honest request. That made it easier. A fatigue hung over him so intensely that just the momentary suggestion of a restful sleep had him fading. When she took his hand to pull him into bed he felt like he was breathing for the first time in so long.

        Everything faded away in the warmth of arms around him. The blankets were so soft he was fairly sure he was already dreaming as he settled against the body offered so freely to him. It was almost dizzying how quickly everything tumbled into place…

 

 

         “Shir---“ “—Ro” “Shiro.” “SHIRO.”

        Shiro dragged himself into consciousness and his cybernetic fingers clutched onto something firmer than a mattress, diggin into it.

         “Shiro.” The voice was firm and demanding. His eyes instantly snapped open to find Allura’s piercing blue ones burrowing into him.

         “Allura…” he mumbled through a parched throat. In an instant more the reality of the situation dawned on him. His fingers were digging into her side with inhuman strength. In a rushed panic Shiro flung himself out of her arms, or at least he tried to. “I’m sorry!” he half shouted as he attempted to push away, but firm hands there locked into his shoulders.

         “Shiro. Stop. Calm down,” Allura was saying, repeating, until he finally actually stopped gasping out apologies and slowed enough to listen, “It’s fine. I’m fine. Are you okay?” Shiro forced his breathing to calm. Allura helped him; deep breaths in, slowly out.

         “I’m sorry,” he repeated in a calmer voice, when he finally felt like he could think again. Allura’s face instantly blossomed into a smile, though, which left Shiro stunned.

         “Are you feeling better?” she asked. Shiro nodded numbly. He wanted to push away, to leave before he had to fully deal with the fact that she’d just not only seen his very personal problems, but been a victim to them. She still had a grip on his shoulders, though. “Good. We have another half hour or so before the paladins are awake. Would you like to go back to sleep?” she asked and Shiro just gaped.

         “Aren’t you… didn’t I hurt you?” he asked.

         “A little,” She admitted, but in such a light tone he didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t think he could fall back asleep even, but he found himself nodding. She pulled him forward, then, curling his arms between them and wrapping him up in hers. It was such a calm gesture, as if he hadn’t just been squeezing the life out of her side.

        He didn’t fall asleep, but that was okay. He could enjoy the experience that had been just a blur into unconsciousness before. He was tucked under her chin, head turned down into the space between them. The air was almost stiflingly warm, but it felt right pulled up against her, just shy of smothered. A little too warm and a little too close, he slowly relaxed in her strong arms. Her heart beat was clear, thumping against him, but it didn’t bother him. It made his own not feel quite so alone.

        Any last tension left him when she pulled one arm back from around him and brought it between them. She slid it up the Galra arm and laced their fingers together so casually she didn’t even open her eyes. She just held him then, one hand in his, the other keeping him under her chin, fingers in his hair. For the first time in a long time someone was taking care of him. He hadn’t known it was something he needed.

        He didn’t get back to sleep, but he felt more rested than he had in years when she finally pulled them out of bed to start their day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've been ALL KLANCE in this fandom, lol, but I hope you guys will enjoy some of my other pairings too. I'm really just excited to write ALL of Team Voltron, tbh!


	2. Accidents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I had this fic planned out, but it turns out it's a hot mess like all my other Voltron Fanfics have been, lol. So maybe more then 4 chapters for this. We'll see!

        There was a ruckus going on in the hall as Shiro was leaving the dining room. For a moment he considered turning back around and just letting the younger paladins deal with it themselves. Maybe he could go into the kitchen and stick his head in a cupboard and pretend he didn’t notice anything. The loudest voices were Lance and Keith’s, after all, and they always worked things out… eventually. He _had_ hoped that the fights would lessen when the two started dating, but as it turned out that didn’t really effect frequency. The only notable difference was the resolution more often ended in having to kick them out of public spaces for PDA.

 

         “No! You can’t just go ASSULTING people! That’s ridiculous!” Lance’s voice rang out down the hall, breaking through the general din of the conflict.

         “I’m not just _assulting_ people! It’s combat training! You _hit people_ in combat training!” Keith’s voice was frustrated, but not volatile. Shiro thought he could probably sit this one out as they continued to bicker. It was good to let them figure out their own problems now and again. That is, until he heard Hunk’s voice in the fray. He couldn’t decipher the words quite through the cacophony, but just that fact that Hunk was involved made this argument into something potentially real.

        Shiro hopped up to his feet to intercept the group and found the paladins’ power walking through the halls shouting.

         “No! Lance is right, Keith,” Hunk was arguing.

         “HA! Hunk agrees! That means I’m right! Suck it Mullet Man!” Lance shouted.

         “Oh shut up!” Keith snipped back. “Listen! You both are being ridiculous!”

         “No,” Hunk’s ‘I’m being serious guys’ voice cut through, “this is legit,”

         “Yeah! Super Legit!”

         “No! It’s not!”

         “Yeah huh! That was a total cheap move!”

        Shiro saw the group move by the door as he neared. Keith floating around in a nervous defensive manner as the two headed determinedly to the main deck. No one seemed injured, despite the tizzy. He almost missed Pidge between Hunk and Lances larger forms. She was being shockingly quiet.

         “No it wasn’t and it doesn’t matter!” Keith said, now walking backwards in front of them.

         “Of course it matters! You can’t hit _Pidge,_ ” Hunk responded solidly.

         “She’s fine! She’s not even complaining! It’s just you guys,” Keith snapped.

         “Of course she’s not complaining! She probably has a concussion after you viciously attacked her!” Lance accused.

         “Oh, that’s bullshit!” Keith stopped right in front of the group and Lance shoved him out of the way unceremoniously. Keith threw up his arms in frustration as the group passed him, shouting, “You can’t treat her like she’s not a paladin! This is stupid!”

         “Woah woah woah, guys,” Shiro called after them in his best officer voice. On instinct all the shouting paladin’s turned about. That was at least something the garrison had instilled in them. “What is going on?”

        Pidge was the last to turn around and she looked absolutely exasperated, or at least the half of her face Shiro could see did. The other side had a hand over it, but Shiro could spot the beginnings of a swollen lip forming under her hand.

         “What happened is-,” Pidge started, in a surprisingly quiet tone. It seemed like she’d given up trying to argue over the three older teens while being dragged through the halls.

         “Keith attacked Pidge!” Lance cut in.

         “Walloped her right in the face,” Hunk added, with some serious disapproval in his tone.

         “WE WERE TRAINING!” Keith yelled at the two of them, before jumping back to address Shiro properly. “I was doing combat training with Pidge and-,”

         “And you smashed her right in the face!” Lance shouted.

         “He kicked her in the head,” Hunk clarified.

        Shiro frowned and looked to Keith who was sputtering defensively. He then looked to Pidge, who took that as her cue to finally talk.

         “I should have blocked it,” she said simply. Everyone was suddenly staring at Pidge. “Yeah, okay. Are we good now?” She asked, tone getting a little sharper. The boys stared at her. “I just want to get my stupid black eye in the stupid healing pod,” she added in the silence that followed.

         “Okay. I’ll escort you,” Shiro informed, giving the other three a pointed look and they stepped aside. Shiro caught Keith’s arm. “No more headshots in basic training,” he said softly.

         “Yessir,” Keith replied without hesitation, though it was clear he was itching to defend himself.

        Shiro and Pidge started their way down towards the deck, walking in silence. She seemed steady on her feet and coherent, so Shiro wasn’t too worried. She was clearly irritated more than anything.

         “So, sounds like, Keith got a good hit on you,” Shiro noted. He’d known Keith had taken a more serious interest and training Pidge lately, so this wasn’t too much of a surprise, really. “Dose it hurt?”

         “Just my pride,” Pidge said with a grimace. The grimace turned pained and she tagged on, “and maybe my face a little.” Pidge sighed and finally let her hand fall. Shiro glanced down at the bruise well on its way to a black eye. It was nothing ten minutes in a healing pod wouldn’t have fixed up, but he was sure it had hurt.

         “Face looks like it took the brunt of it,” he said.

         “Har har,” Pidge replied drily glaring up at him. “I just wish I hadn’t done it in front of _everyone_ ,” Pidge muttered. Shiro was surprised at that.

         “Hm?” he prompted.

         “I mean! I basically punched _myself_ trying to get my block up,” she said gesturing to the swollen lip. “And I didn’t even get the block! And then they all had to shout about it! Like Keith had just hit an infant!”

         “Ah,” Shiro said nodding, “You know, they are just protective because they care…”

         “Bull. Shit. It’s because they think I’m weak!” Pidge snarled back. Shiro was quiet for a moment as they walked along, letting Pidge breathe before going on. He’d found even a momentary cool down helped when she was feeling frustrated.

         “They think of you like a younger sibling.” Shiro put a hand on her shoulder. He almost instantly realized the sore spot he might have prodded at, but it was too late to go back now; Pidge was staring up at him. “They can’t help but worry…”

        Pidge was silent for a long time. “Matt would have been worse than Hunk…” she admitted. The smile that came over both their lips betrayed the sting in their hearts, but neither were looking at each other close enough to notice.

         “He would have already had you in the healing pod. And he probably would have tried to carry you there,” Shiro noted.

         “Oh no,” Pidge said grimly, “he so would have. How do you even know that?” Pidge said with a laugh. “He always tried to big brother me in stupid ways like that. Even when I weighed the same as he did.”

         “I know. He talked about you a lot,” Shiro replied, “It would have been annoying if it was anyone other than Matt, but you can’t be mad at Matt when he’s excited about something.” They hadn’t talked about this much. About all the things Shiro knew about Pidge because of her brother. About the things Shiro knew about Matt that even Pidge might not. They had meant to. Shiro had meant to sit them down and tell her how much Matt meant to him too. It had always felt selfish when the opportunity presented itself, though. Matt _had_ been important to him, very important, but this was Pidge’s family. In the end he’d always just let her talk.

         “That’s embarrassing,” Pidge said with a laugh. “He better not have told any of my secrets,” she said in a warning tone, as if she were already preparing to beat him up for her honor. Shiro smiled, picturing the scene of the Holt siblings fighting.

         “Only good things…” He assured, paused, then added, “and about your stuffed giraffe, Ms. Spots. Did you bring her to the garrison, by the way? Matt thought you would take it to college with you if it stayed in one piece.”

         “How dare he out me like that!” she cried, but was smiling all the same as they reached the main deck. She hesitated before going in, pausing and looking at Shiro seriously. Shiro stopped, waiting for her to say whatever was on her mind.  She cleared her throat. “He talked about you too… I mean…” Pidge seemed at a bit of a loss. “He was really excited that you were assigned with them and… I mean if we… if we-“ Pidge’s voice caught in her throat. Things were getting a little too real for Pidge and Shiro could sense the worry setting in.

         “When we find him, we can both scold him for telling secrets,” Shiro said solidly. Pidge let out a sharp laugh.

         “Yeah! We’ll have to,” Pidge agreed. She still waffled there next to Shiro.

         “Go! Get up there and get your face healed,” Shiro said, shooing her.

         “Thanks,” she said simply with a nod, before turning around and hopping her way into the healing pod.

        Shiro waited until the healing process had started before he left the room, keeping the smile on his face until he was a good way down the hall. It wasn’t that it was a fake smile, really. It was just that he couldn’t spend too long thinking on it. Even good memories with Matt were mingled with failure. If he lingered too long, if he thought too much on it, the failure always became the overwhelming feeling. It was like a taste left in the back of his throat. It stuck long after he’d stopped fondly reminiscing.

 

***

 

        Lips pressed against his temple.

         “Brooding?” Allura’s voice came from over his shoulder.

         “Thinking,” Shiro clarified, craning his neck to follow as she walked around the seat he’d fallen into in the common room.

         “You,” she said solidly, “are brooding.” She settled in a squat in front of him, peering up at him. “What has you in such a serious mood?” Shiro looked down at her unwavering blue eyes and melted. He flopped forward, leaning on his legs and hung his head just above hers. She tilted her head a little so she could still look at him.

         “I guess I’m just thinking about how much we still have to do,” he said, leaning in towards her casually.

         “That is a lie,” Allura said plainly. Shiro pulled back up a little with a frown. “I have spent enough time watching you worry to know a thing or two about how you go about it,” she informed.

         “I see. So, you’re an expert on my face already?” he asked with a little amusement.

         “Your body language more. You are fairly good at keeping your face neutral,” she explained.

         “Tssh,” Shiro slumped back down. “So what sort of brooding am I doing?” he asked. Allura put a hand on Shiro’s knee and pushed up to preface her response with a soft peck to his lips. Shiro sighed, feeling a little more at ease already.

         “You’re worried that you’ve already failed,” she said. Shiro’s expression tightened and she squeezed his knee, “It’s a weight. I know. ‘What could I have done more?’…” Shiro watched her mouth move because eyes were a little too hard for that moment. “There are a hundred-thousand things you could have done,” she agreed, “But what you _did_ do brought you here, and we could not have accomplished what we have without you with us. The universe does not always give us the tasks we want, but it puts us where we need to be.”

        Shiro shifted his face into his hands, elbows digging into his legs for a moment as he rubbed his face roughtly. He took a deep breath in and then let it out before opening his eyes to find Allura’s.

         “You know that applies to you as well, right?” Shiro said. Allura’s eyes fluttered, for a moment taken off guard.

         “I forget sometimes,” she admitted.

         “I’ll remind you now and again,” he promised, “that the universe needs you here.” Shiro reached over for her face, cupping either side of it as softly as he could. His hands felt clumsy in comparison to hers. She had an instinct for knowing exactly where to place a hand to ease his tension in seconds. He felt he’d made a good choice when she leaned easily into his palm. “I’m glad you’re here,” he added.

         “Are you sure the universe needs me and not just you?” Allura teased. He could feel the smile in her cheek pressed against his hand.

         “Both,” he replied solidly, pulling her up by her face. She followed, expecting a kiss, but he pulled back as she moved forward, until he had her leaning over the chair over him. He stopped her when he’d hit the back of his seat and she smirked. He’d been ‘caught’. She caged him in, looming over him, and swooped down the second he pulled his hands back.

         Kisses from Allura were always soft but firm, building up slowly. Shiro fell into them and let himself be guided completely. There was a rhythm to the kiss, like soft waves pulling onto the beach and sliding back down, wetting just a tiny bit more of the shore each time as the tide rolled in. It was bound to happen one of these times, with how lost Shiro got in Allura’s kisses. It was really surprising it took this long.

 

         “Look! I’m sure Keith is gonna find you and start telling you it wasn’t a big deal,” Lance’s voice burst. Shiro was startled back into the real world, like he was being shaken awake from a perfect afternoon nap. “And you kno-oo-oh-WOW,” Lance’s speech trailed off quickly. “Wow! I just! I-you can’t just-You two are so! And you just! I-Allura! I thought you were still considering that date with me!” Lance finally managed to finish a sentence.

        Allura pushed herself up by the arm rests giving Lance a thoroughly unimpressed look. “You’re dating Keith. I assumed you didn’t need an answer anymore. Would you have still tried to take me out if I said yes?” she asked incredulously.

         “No! Of course not! Because I’m dating Keith!” he echoed back, “But an answer would have been nice before you-uh-you,” Lance didn’t seem able to actually verbalize what he’d just seen, his face getting progressively redder each time he tried.

        Allura stood herself fully upright, crossing her arms and taking a step back to let Shiro stand up. “Well, in that case, please take this as my official refusal.” Lance managed to look crestfallen, relieved, and embarrassed all at the same time.

         “What did you need to report to me about Keith?” Shiro asked in his ‘this is official business’ tone. Allura shifted a step closer to him so their shoulders bumped. That was apparently too much for Lance after what he’d witnessed a moment ago.

         “I uh-nothing! Keith’s a jerk! That’s all! Total jerk. I should go find him. To tell him that. To tell him he’s a jerk,” he stammered, turning about sharply.

         “Don’t start any more fights, please, Lance,” Shiro called after, leaning to watch him go and feeling more like a dad than usual in that moment. He really was space dad...

         “Oh! I am going to go start something!” Lance shouted back, “Not a fight but something!” Shiro pinched his brow together with a frown, turning to Allura.

         “Should I ask what he means by that?” he asked.

         “I don’t imagine you should,” she replied shaking her head.

         “We should have made some sort of announcement,” he sighed.

         “I’m sure Lance will do that for us,” she replied and they shared a moment of silent mourning for their privacy. “I should at least inform Coran before the general public,” she added, more to herself. Shiro pulled away.

         “Coran _doesn’t_ know?” he asked, staring. “He’s seen me come out of your room in the mornings, though.” She nodded. “And he doesn’t suspect anything?”

         “No, of course not,” she replied. Shiro eyed her incredulously, but she seemed so certain he couldn’t doubt her.

         “Well, you better hurry. I can’t imagine Lance is going to be subtle,” he suggested.

        She sighed, finally letting her arms drop. “He’s going to give me a lot of ‘fatherly advice’ and want to give you a lecture about how to court a princess,” she said with a twinge of petulance in her voice that made Shiro smile. It was always amusing to see Allura pout. It was rare, but always quite the thing to see her body language turn into something more like a tween being told they couldn’t see an ‘R’ rated movie. He’d have never suspected the princess had it in her to be anything but regal when he’d first met her. It was nice to know she was comfortable enough around him to let him see this.

         “I’ll come with if you want,” he offered, snaking an arm around her waist.

         “Nono, it’ll be worse if he’s trying to give _both_ of us a lecture about how to properly date _at the same time_. You’ll just have to deal with him on your own,” she informed.

         “Mm, well good luck then,” he said, leaning into peck her cheek before heading right for the door.

         “And where are you going?” she asked.

         “Oh, I figure I have a few hours’ head start while Coran is distracted with you to disappear,” he said. She rolled her eyes and he smiled. Shiro, at least, wouldn’t have time to ‘brood’ anymore, regardless of how disastrously this turned out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! I promise we'll get Matt in the mix soon! Just needed a little more Shiro and Allura being soft and sad because apparently that's my aesthetic this fic, haha


	3. Unanticipated Responses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What starts out as a routine mission changes into something very different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Proofreading? What's proofreading???
> 
> lol, hope you guys enjoy. Thank you for reading~

        It was a typical mission. There was a drastic reduction in Galra activity in an area, so they moved in to investigate. It was a repeating pattern Team Voltron had observed. It most likely meant a planet had been drained of resources. The inhabitants still on the world would be left with little to survive with and no practical means of escape. As often as not, though, there was no one left by the time the castle could be safely brought into the area. By the time they arrived, the planet was stripped down and the people likely harvested along with the natural resources, or worse….

        Occasionally, though, a planet was left with the remnants of a Galra instillation, or a minimally functional work camp for finishing details of a planetary stripping. From the single orbiting Galra ship around the planet, this looked to be the most likely case. That meant they would be taking on new refugees.

        Coran had already started on producing enough goop for a feast as the Lions went on ahead. Their first mission was to draw out any hiding Galra warships that might be lying in wait and take them out before the castle pulled into the area. Today it was only the single orbiting ship. It put up very little fight against 3 Voltron Lions.

        Hunk, Lance, and Shiro set down on the planet to clear any ground infantry before the carriers were sent down. Pidge and Keith remained in orbit in case reinforcements had been signaled. It was rare, but it had happened and the paladins didn’t want all their offensive power on the ground unless strictly necessary. As a mission they’d done dozens of times at this point, they’d worked out a system.

        Shiro landed first to take on the guards hand to hand, while Hunk, in his lion, provided cover from heavy artillery. Lance circled the base taking out transmitters and shield generators. He had become a pretty adept shot. Shiro wouldn’t have pegged him for the team’s sharp shooter when first meeting him, but that’s what he loved about these bunch of kids. Every month, day, year that passed they surprised him. They grew faster than he knew how to keep up with. They were amazing.

        The all clear was called out by Lance, and Hunk was launching out of his lion in a second, having it set him out just to Shiro’s right. The timing was impeccable. Hunk’s bayard weapon appeared. He caught it and shot without even a second’s delay due to its heft, his feet digging in to compensate for the recoil. He blasted the door open just as Shiro took out the last guard. He didn’t even have to slow his run as he leapt through the rubble. The shocked robotic guards beyond the smoldering hole readjusted their strategy in a flash of complex signaling in a manner just shy of organic. Shiro was already in their midst before new ranks could form. Hunk crashed through them a moment later.

        Lance remained in Blue, ready to pick off any fleeing ships. None of them could be allowed to escape and report the incident. It would give too much away of the paladin’s movements. This is why they had to wait for the bases to be mostly abandoned. They had to be out of the Galra inspection routine. The destroyed installation would be found, but not for weeks, if not longer, which helped obscure their actual movements.

 

        The full clearing out of the light staff left behind was easy work over all. It barely took an hour from launch of the offensive lions to contacting the castle to send down it’s carriers to pick up the prisoners. Part of that was their growing efficiency as a team, Shiro was sure, but this planet also seemed to be particularly dismal looking as well. Whatever was done here had been devastating. Shiro wasn’t sure how he knew this place hadn’t just always been a crumbling dead rock to start. He supposed he just got a sense for these things after being in space so long. There was a difference between a place where life had never been and where life had been but it was sucked out. It _felt_ different.

        The prisoners looked much the same. There were three blocks of them. Shiro opened the first cell block and the various shaped creatures stumbled out to their uncertain freedom, staring at the armored figures of lore there in front of them. Despite their alien figures, it was clear they were wiry, lean muscle and not much else. They had been worked harder than the usual instillation workers here, doing whatever needed to be done before it was drained of life.

        Shiro felt a pang of guilt. They’d waited so long to come. He knew it was necessary, that they couldn’t just rush in to a heavily guarded military facility every other day. He also knew these people had been dying while they waited for it to be sufficiently safe. He watched the aliens file out with a much more muted awe than he was used to. It took some time for the ruckus to build up. For them to realize what had happened, that they really were free.

         “The Paladins are really here,” someone finally spoke. That broke the disbelief hanging in the air. Mumbling turned to cheering and thanks. Praise and hands were thrown at them as the prisoners rushed past. The jovial mood clashed with his guilt, but he had no time for mental incongruities.

        He caught the eyes of one of the prisoners and an unspoken bound was instantly formed. Reluctant leaders always found each other. This alien was the leader, at least in spirit, of this cell block. He caught their shoulder and handed them a guard’s severed arm. “Will you open the other two cell blocks? And please organize everyone so they are prepared to be taken up to our ship. We will transport everyone to a safe port. And please let us know if there are any injured or sick, so they can be treated.”

        Holding the robot arm, the alien stared back at Shiro with six bright, shocked eyes, three pairs stacked on top of each other. The top and bottom were so wide the middle nearly were forced closed. He realized only then how young they were, likely no older than Pidge had been when she first joined them. War made heroes without regard for age or preparation. This youngster was no different. Their grip on the severed arm tightened.

         “Yessir,” they spoke in a whisper of a voice.

         “What’s your name?” Shiro paused to ask.

         “Noevus… Tener,” they responded, their voice barely picking up, but they forced it to be steady.

         “Thank you, Tener. I appreciate your help” Shiro said, a solid hold on their shoulder. A flutter rippled down Tener’s eyes that then ran down their whole body as a shiver.

         “Thank you,” They managed in a proud sounding voice, even if it still couldn’t pick up over a whisper. They took a moment to collect themselves before they turned and ran towards the next block of cells. The little device Pidge had made to keep the arm active long after it was severed flashed from the edge of the arm. The next set of doors opened. Shiro sighed happily seeing the next group of prisoners stepping out, free.

         “I’m going to head back up to the castle, so Pidge can come down and set up the auto status reporting system,” Shiro said, walking back over to Hunk.

         “Sure thing! Lance and I can handle getting everyone onto the ships,” Hunk said with his usual ‘look at all these people we just saved’ grin. It made Shiro smile back automatically. Hunk just had that effect on him. He was so honestly proud of the good deeds they did.

         “Thank you,” he said, just as the blue lion landed and Lance came bounding out.

         “Whoooo! I think that was a new record!” Lance called. “I _told_ you we’re faster with me shooting things down rather than Keith running all around the base trying to slice it up!” He was jogging over, but stopped to bask in the praise being thrown at him. It helped that he’d just made such a grand entrance on a Legendary Lion while Hunk and Shiro’s were still outside the prison sector’s walls.

         “All right Lance!” Shiro called back with a chuckle. “You can take that up with Keith. I haven’t been timing, but I’m sure you two have,” he said.

        He wandered over to Lance’s lion and tapped on its paw. “Give me a lift,” he requested and the lion complied, leaning its head down for Shiro to climb onto. He wasn’t sure if it was a perk of being the head of Voltron, or if Blue just liked him, but the Lion was rather accommodating in simple tasks like this. The walk wouldn’t have been too bad, but after a battle it was nice to be dropped off right at his own Lion’s mouth. The event looked a bit like the large black lion giving Blue a kiss on the head. Hunk had told him it was pretty cute to watch. Shiro had never gotten to watch the event from an outside perspective so he took Hunk’s word for it. He strolled right into his Lion and had it head back to the Castle.

 

 

 

         “Shiro!” Two voice called in offset shouts.

        Shiro had changed upon getting back to the castle and done what he could to ward off the post battle smell without actually showering. He wanted to be there to show the refugees to their temporary quarters with Allura. Pidge was doing the finishing touches to make the base seem still operational until a physical inspection was done. The other three paladins helped with the transportation.

        Hunk and Lance burst around the corner each grabbing one of Shirp’s arms as they shouted his name.

         “What?!” Shiro asked, barely keeping his feet under him with the two both try to drag him at a slightly different rushed pace. The words that came out of both of their mouths were indecipherable between the two of them, really just a garbled mess. It ended with him being shoved into a room and both of them rushing right back out shouting something about how they’re going to get Pidge.

        Shiro turned about to try to shout after them, but they were gone. He was left in sudden silence until his attention was drawn to a door opening on the opposite side of the room. Allura led in two of the new refugees, looking as confused as Shiro felt until they saw each other.

         “ ** _Matt_**.” His voice left him without his consent. He wasn’t even registering his movements as he made them. It felt like he was watching himself as he grabbed Matt. He pulled him into his arms, right up against his chest, with a crushing force that he had no control over.

        Mentally he was still trying to process they they’d _found_ them, they’d really _found them_. He’d spent so much time saying they would that it was surreal that they _had_. It was too sudden, too random to be real. It felt like the moment in a dream where there is a jump in logic that doesn’t quite follow and suddenly it’s clear something was amiss. Yet, here they were. Here, right in front of him, was the Holts.

        He realized only at that moment that maybe he hadn’t believed they _would_ ever find them. The thought hit him hard. It had always been Pidge’s family first. He cared about them, he was terrified what may have happened to them, but he never got to wallow, because Pidge needed reassurance. He’d let the mantra of “they will be fine”, “We’ll find them” take over so thoroughly that he never stopped to address his own fears. He’d shoved them down and away; now, in a single moment, he could release them all. Every doubt and grim nagging thought in the deep depths of his mind came bubbling up. He felt every fear rush over him and leave at the same time, because here they were. Here was Matt.

        His lips were on Matt’s before his mind caught up to his body.

        He’d never done that before.

        Shit.

        He pulled away sharply and gaped in silent shock with no idea what to say. Matt didn’t give him any help, staring wide eyed and confused. Honestly, it was most akin to the look that had flashed across Matt’s face when he’d tackled him down before he could go into the arena. That was years ago now but the look was so burned into Shiro’s mind he’d never forget it. He started to pull away when he was stopped sharp, Matt’s face twisting into anger just as fingers hooked on his collar.

         “What the hell was that?” Matt snapped directly into his face. Startled, he didn’t know how to respond. Matt pulled their foreheads together with enough force it should have hurt, but with all the adrenaline rushing through him, Shiro barely noticed the collision.

         “I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking,” Shiro admitted. Matt was keeping them so close Shiro couldn’t even read his expression.

         “Yeah! You did a lot of not thinking,” Matt snarled.

         “I’m sorry. I realized, as soon as I saw you, that I-I thought you both were dead after all this time looking and it just,” Shiro tried to explain as calmly as possible, but he felt breathless.

         “You thought _I_ was dead? Who’s the one who charged out to fight Myzax?! No one came back from fights with Myzax! I thought _you_ were a goner for sure!” Matt shouted into his face. “And then you come back from the dead and you kiss me?!” Matt asked incredulously

         “I’m sorry,” Shiro tried. They were still so close and goddamn it he just wanted to kiss him again just for being alive, just for existing. He wanted him close in every possible way.

         “Where was that back at the garrison?” he demanded. “Where was that while we were on Kerboros?” Matt added.

         “I don’t know!” Shiro announced. “I mean! No. I know! It’s because we were going on that mission together Matt! And they were already so hesitant about sending you and your father out together. I didn’t want to risk not be able to go with you guys!” Shiro explained. “So… I was waiting, I guess.”

        Matt’s fingers loosened, finally letting him stand up, but they just stared at each other for a long moment, “Waiting for the most dramatic goddamn moment possible,” Matt said, finally letting a smile tip up the corners of his mouth. Shiro finally relaxed, a smile pulling over his lips.

         “Ahherhem!” Mr. Holt interrupted their moment, jumping the two out of the little bubble they were in.

         “I’m very glad to see that your well, Shiro, aside from a little grayer than I last saw you,” he said reaching over, “But a little gray just gives you some character, eh?” He asked with a grin, running a hand through his own hair.

         “Definitely, sir,” Shiro agreed, reaching over to take the outstretched hand and give it a solid squeeze. His grip was nothing like that of the man he’d parted with on Kerboros. It was calloused and bony and shook a little, but the smile on his face hid the fatigue well.

        Then Allura stepped into view to take Mr. Holt’s hand next.

        Shiro let his hand drop down and the realization hit him. He’d just kissed Matt, practically confessed his love to him, and there was Allura, quietly standing behind them the whole time. He could feel the life drain out of him, like being lowered into icy water inch by inch until he was immobilized. His brain reeled in an attempt to find an explanation, and excuse, but there was none. His feelings for Matt were real. He had them long before he’d been lost in space and thrown into this crazy save the universe quest, and nothing that had happened since then could change that.

        Allura took Mr. Holt’s hand and shook it firmly. All Shiro could do is watch.

         “It is a pleasure to finally meet you. We have heard a lot about you from our paladins. You are both spoken very fondly of.”

         “Paladins?” He asked. “Like, the _PALADIN_ Paladins?” He looked to Shiro, who had changed into casual clothes. He’d only seen Hunk and Lance in their armor.

         “Yes, Shiro here is the leader of Team Voltron, Paladin to the Black Lion,”

        Both Matt and his father stared. Matt was now squinting as if he had missed something looking at him earlier. He probably had, in all honest, without his glasses he must have been pretty blind.

         “Wow,” Matt said finally, “Geez! I should have known you’d pull off something like that,” Matt said with an almost sigh of a laugh. “We’ve been hearing about The Ancient Paladins coming back and saving people, and they were from some far off alien planet, but I never thought one of the paladins would be human!”

         “They’re all humans,” Allura informed. The Holt’s both turned to the princess.

         “Really?” Mr. Holt said, “Wow!” he elbowed his son roughly in the ribs, “Makes you proud to be a human doesn’t it?” he said happily.

         “You should be very proud. Pidge has been a vital part of our team as well,” Allura informed with a bright smile.

         “Who?” he asked.

         “Your daughter,” Allura clarified.

         “My… Daughter? What?” Mr. Holt asked, his expression now matching his sons perfectly as they both squinted at Allura.

         “She is the green paladin,” Allura clarified. “You should be very proud.”

         “Katie is what?!” both of the Holts shouted in unison, quickly turning to Shiro for confirmation.

        Nodding Shiro saying, “Yes, my team is Katie and three other garrison students.”

         “You have a bunch of students and you’re saving the galaxy with them?” Mr. Holt asked, seeming shocked. “And Katie is with you—is she here?” He suddenly changed gears as he realized the real implications of Allura’s words, “Is she safe?” he asked.

         “Yes. She has already been called up from the planet. She’ll be joining us shortly,” she assured in a calming manner, holding his hands steady as he started to look shaky.

        When he seemed calm and stable enough, she moved on to Matt. Shiro automatically moved out of her way, because that’s what you did for Allura. Matt had to snap his attention to her, still seeming to be in shock at the fact that his baby sister was defending the galaxy with Shiro in some sort of ancient prophesied super robot. Shiro felt like he should say something, anything to clear up this mess before it had a chance to explode. He opened his mouth to hopefully do just that, but before he could string anything coherent together to defend himself, she leaned down and kissed Matt, right on the mouth.

        Shiro couldn’t have possibly have been as shocked as Matt looked, but he was pretty damn close.

         “It is a pleasure to meet you, Matt Holt,” she said in a warm tone.

         “O-ooh-oh yeah! Yes! Yes. You too!” he stammered out, looking from her to the blurry figures of Shiro and his father, his face getting progressively redder as he wasn’t sure what to do or say to such a greeting from a tall, gorgeous, alien princess.

         “I look forward to getting to know you better,” she said, standing back upright in all her royal glory.

         “Wow, Matt!” Mr. Holt whooped. The kiss at least broke him out of his shocked stupor at the news of his daughter. “You sure are popular today! Have any other boyfriends or girlfriends I should know about?”

         “I didn’t know I had _any_!” Matt replied, still bewildered. Again, before Shiro could get a word in, Allura was twisting her arm around his and lacing their fingers together. She gave his hand a comforting squeeze.

         “Of course. I’m quite excited to get better acquainted with someone who so many of my paladins are so fond of,” she said warmly. Matt’s eyes fluctuate between squinting and wide eyed stares, trying to sort out everything that was going on. So was Shiro, though, so when their eyes met he was glad he knew Matt couldn’t really see him well enough to see how lost his expression was.

        He was saved, for the moment, by a thud and the door sliding open.

        Pidge stood there, still in her suit, helmet under her arm, looking a frantic mess. Her hand steadied herself on the doorframe for the moment she needed to breathe and take in the new rescues. It was only a moment, though, before she let the helmet drop in a loud clatter and rushed forward, tears instantly welling over and streaming down her cheeks.

         “DAD! MATT!” She shouted, a choked sob of pure joy as she shoved past Shiro and Allura and collided with them. She pulled them both into her arms just as they scooped her up in theirs.

 

        Shiro stepped back to give the group room to hug, his heart aching at the reunion he’d spent so long assuring Pidge would happen. He was so glad he hadn’t been lying. He was so relieved…

        He let out a sigh and feeling the tears edging around his eyes. He turned to Allura when he heard a sniffle. Her head was tilted up slightly, her eyes lightly blinking in an attempt to keep the tears in check, but it was no use in the end. They tumbled over, running into the hand lightly placed over her mouth. Shiro instinctively turned her, pulling her face into his hands and brushing his thumbs under her eyes to clear off the tears. He gave her a smile and she returned it. He then remembered that Matt was right there. His hands dropped and he looked between the two of them.

        The Holt clan was now recounting stories in a jumbled mess, each jumping in with questions before anyone could ever finish answering the last. It was a clamoring mess of words and hugs but none of them seemed to mind or miss a beat. It was so quintessentially Holt Family that Shiro could have laughed.

         “It would have been polite to tell me we had a boyfriend,” Allura noted lowly, but her scowl was too soft to actually hold any anger. He felt sheepish all the same.

         “I… didn’t…” he took a moment to collect himself. “We hadn’t been dating. I had only realized I wanted to be a bit before the mission we were captured during. And… I hadn’t thought about what would happen if we actually found them. I think some part of me had lost hope.” His voice had become lower, lost to all but Allura in the shadow of the family reunion a few feet away. He couldn’t look at Allura as he spoke. On top of everything else, it felt so wrong to admit out loud, ever, that he had lost hope. He was their leader. It never mattered how desperate things seemed, he was supposed to be strong and positive. He should always believe in their success.

         “Do you think he’ll like me?” Allura asked softly. He stared. She actually sounded unsure.

         “I… are you serious?” Shiro looked between her and the Holts again. “I mean…” He wasn’t sure what to even say, and the phrase ‘ **we** had a boyfriend’ finally really registered fully to him. He was struck with the thought that he might have just created some sort of love triangle at the most inopportune moment in galactic history.

         “You love him?” she asked, bluntly. He glanced at the Holts, picking out Matt’s smiling face as he stole Pidges glasses and relishes having vision again, only to have his little sister tackling him for them a moment later. Shiro nodded, mutely. He did. He really did.

         “And me?” she asked, turning his head towards her. He could feel his cheeks heating up. She waited patiently until he nodded again. She chuckled, letting her hand drop from his cheek. “So, then, do you think he’ll like me?” she asked again.

         “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I mean! I’m sure he’ll _like_ you, but I don’t know if I can...” Shiro tried to find the right words to express how much of an imposition on Matt this could be.

         “Share me?” Allura asked in a teasing tone. Shiro pulled a hand up to rub over his face as he let out a single laugh.

         “This is too much. I don’t know. I can’t figure this out yet,” Shiro admitted.

         “We’ll take our time…” Allura assured, as they both turned to watch Pidge finally steal back her glasses. She had her brother pinned to the ground in a move Shiro had taught to Keith specifically for pinning larger adversaries, not that Matt was too much taller than her anymore. He smiled watching the knowledge passed on, a warm feeling of pride spreading over his chest.

         “Maybe we should get him his own pair of glasses,” Shiro suggested. “It might help convince him if he gets to see how gorgeous you are,” Shiro suggested casually. Allura elbowed him sharply and he stumbled to the side chuckling.

         “Oh, so it’s all about looks, huh?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

         “Doesn’t hurt that you can pick me up either,” he noted. She grinned, eyes staying on the Holts, but clearly pleased.

         “I’m having Coran set up some more permanent quarters for Pidge’s family. Though in light of recent revelations, it seems like I might be adjusting some room placements,” she said.

         “I just confessed my feelings 5 minutes ago… I thiiink we might need to take this a little slower than that,” Shiro suggested.

         “I suppose I have to defer to you as the human romantic expert,” she reluctantly agreed. Shiro snorted.

         “I am a romantic nothing expert,” he insisted.

         “Hmmm. I beg to differ on that front.” Allura’s fingers slid across Shiro’s back and up to play with the fuzzy edge of his hair. When he raised an eyebrow at her she sighed. “Okay. I’ll ‘keep it casual’,” she promised, “For now.”

        “At least let me talk to him before there’s any more surprise kissing,” Shiro requested. Allura agreed and Shiro tried to figure out what he’d even about all this. ‘Hello, I love you. Oh and here’s our stunningly beautiful space princess that I hope you like because I’m dating her too?’ Well, he’d figure it out after they’d gotten the Holt family situated. Right now was just for… being happy. None of the confusing bits yet.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! It's Matt! Finally this is really an OT3 fic!
> 
> I hope you guys don't mind the all over the place pacing going on. I've been stressed and this story has been rather therapeutic to write for whatever reason ♥ So there will be at least two more chapters(?) but I might just keep adding after the main plot finishes. We'll see!
> 
> (btw the double kiss scene was definitely the first thing I wrote for this, and the reason I started this fic, hahaha)


	4. Nostalgia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt comes baring good gossip for the starved masses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE WHO'S BEEN WAITING ON THIS FIC TO UPDATE I'M SO SORRY.
> 
> I had... 90% of this chapter effectively written, but it was in about 12 different places. This fic is just scattered to the wind ~~a little on my phones, some bits e-mailed to myself, notepad, google docs, even some in an actual Word document GASP~~
> 
> This might have been better off as two chapters. Maybe I'll split it up later, but for now, just have it all. Take the whole damn thing! lol.

        Matt and Sam were swept away on a tour of the castle by Pidge. Shiro felt like anything he and Matt had to talk about was secondary to the Holt family reunion. Instead, he busied himself with the loading dock full of new passengers. Coran was taking charge of making sure names, next of kin, and homeworlds were being taken down. Pidge had long ago set up a database for helping reconnect rescues with their families. It also helped find safe heavens most suited for different species if their home planets were no longer a safe option. It wasn’t perfect, but it had brought a few reunions as tearful as the Holt’s.

        Shiro spotted Tener in the sea of alien forms. The alien was small, but he had no trouble finding them. They couldn’t conduct traffic with the bountiful enthusiasm of Coran, or the royal authority of Allura. Still, somehow, they moved people to where they needed to be. The young alien had taken the job Shiro assigned her seriously.

        Watching them, Shiro felt a pang of something in his chest. They saw to their duty with a confidence that he knew came from their mind, while their heart wavered. He could see it in the tension of their form, the controlled blankness in their face. He recognized the almost meditative state of responsibility and logic overshadowing all else in a public space. If a crack showed, it would all shatter in an instant; it’d be over. They’d be broken. He felt like he could see that pressure even from across the room… Of course, he realized he might be projecting. He might want to see something in this youngster that reminded him of himself. He didn’t think so, though, because would never wish the feeling on anyone.

        He wandered over to Coran, boisterously conducting traffic and organizing lines. He managed this with a humming, pleasant air that seemed contagious even to the bedraggled aliens wanting little more than food and sleep. They would have that soon, just one line to wait in. Coran’s energy made that seem bearable.

         “What can I do for you, my boy?” Coran asked with gusto when he noticed him.

         “The alien over there,” he said, gesturing to Tener. “The one with six eyes. Have they checked in yet?”

         “That one has been too busy directing the new guests. Very sweet of them, though looks like their about ready to fall without a bit of sleep and food soon!” Coran noted. The bouncing nature of his words didn’t belay the truth in them. Tener's movements wavered slightly as they moved.

         “Yeah… I gave them the task of organizing the boarding process and it seems like they really took it to heart.” Shiro nodded. He paused, “Do you know if their homeworld is still habitable and safe?” he asked.

         “Let me check,” Coran said, flicking up his information pad. He tapped in a bit of information before frowning and shaking his head. “It looks like it was taken recently along with a large swath in the Upper Third-Central Sector. It was in the area that had been slipping, leading up to the recent resurgence.”

         “So, we will have to relocate them?” he asked.

         “Unless they want to go back…” Coran said, his expression finally falling to something grim. It had happened before. Refugees that were willing to go back into Galra controlled lands to return to their home planets, their families, or whatever was left of either. Though the team had argued with these aliens at first, they couldn’t refuse them the freedom to make their own choices, good or bad. Shiro always tried not to wonder what happened to them. He tried to hope all went well.

         “Can you tell me anything about their species?” he asked, eyes still on her.

         “They were a mysterious sort,” he explained. “You see, despite being advanced enough to travel space, they didn’t venture out in great numbers beyond their planet. They never had that pioneer spirit, you understand?”

         “They didn't try to make an empire like most other cultures as soon as they can get to the next inhabitable land over,” Shiro confirmed, nodding. Coran looked surprised by the interpretation.

         “A harsh way to put it!” he cried, offering up his own interpretation. “I think it had to do with how steady and small their population was.”

        "No shortage of resources" Shiro replied practically.

        "No sense of adventure!" Coran corrected, his tone scolding Shiro’s lack of whimsy. "They didn't even go out to explore often! Even though they had the technology to do so. When they did, they never travelled without another of their kind, often times an older member of the party escorting them. The only exception to this was young single parents with a child. For some reason, they were exempt from this guardianship tradition," he said, his eyes distant as he pondered old mysteries. "They give very good greeting hugs, though. I’ve heard them described as a cuddle based society," he tagged on with a chuckle.

        "Anything else?" Shiro asked. He wasn't sure how useful this information would be, but he would take what he could get.

         “Ah!” he smiled always happy when he was asked for more. “They are known for, as you might guess, their gorgeous three pairs of eyes. They are said to allow for vision in the day, the night, and into dreams,” he said with a mystical wiggling of his fingers. Shiro nodded. This seemed fanciful, but it wasn’t something he would discount. He’d witnessed stranger things from aliens in their travels.

         “Thank you, Coran,” he said.

        The main door to the hangers opened and Shiro’s eyes, trained to always assess incoming threats, darted over. It seemed at first that the Holt Castle Tour had been a quick one. Pidge admittedly might not be the best tour guide. It seemed, though, that the tour had been cut short on Matt’s account.

        He was leading the party and he was looking for something or someone. Shiro was about to call him over to see if he could help, when Matt spotted Tener and called out. The alien turned sharply about and, upon spotting Matt, ran to him with more energy than Shiro would have guessed was still in them.

        Matt caught the slight figure and began cuddling them with the affection of a puppy. He patted their cheeks and nestled against their forehead and pulled them into a hug almost as affectionately as he’d hugged Pidge. After a long moment hugging, Matt handed off Tener to Pidge. The young alien grabbed Pidge into nearly as physical of a greeting as Matt had just recieved.

        Pidge stood, stock still and wide eyed as the alien, just a little shorter than her, held her in a hug that most species would consider inappropriately personal. It took almost the entire awkwardly long hug for Pidge to finally return it, pulling an arm free from the grip to wrap it around and pat their back. Sam, on the other hand, managed to get a more reserved hug. Tener did not launch at him, but it was soft, as if he were fragile. Still, it was long. This at least gave a confused Pidge some time to recover. She shot Matt a look and he just smiled, pleased with how uncomfortable he’d made his little sister.

        When the alien pulled back from the series of greetings they looked different. A tension they’d held had melted away. It was like Shiro saw them breathe for the first time. His mind returned to Coran’s mini lecture, “cuddle based society”. He wondered how touch starved one of her kind must have been if that sort of greeting was normal for their people.

        He walked over, getting there just as Matt was giving introductions.

         “Katie, this is Tener,” he said, “Tenny, this is my little sister. She’s a paladin of Voltron. Somehow,” he noted.

         “ _Somehow_?” Pidge snipped back, “I think you mean _obviously_.” Matt rolled his eyes, but he was smiling at her. He was clearly proud, but he had no way to express that other than with sarcasm and secretly loving smiles.

        When Shiro neared, Tener’s tension seemed to return a little. The soft physical contact they had kept with Sam was instantly ended. They put a foot between them and everyone else. Shiro frowned a little, but then tried to smile when they went even more rigid at his serious expression.

         “Hello Tener,” he greeted, making his voice light. “I appreciate all your hard work.”

         “Thank you, sir,” they said. Their top most eyes were wide and intensely focused on him. He considered his next words.

         “I think you can take a break, get some rest and food,” he offered, trying to soften his voice even more. They looked confused. “Pidge,” he turned to her. “Why don’t you show Tener somewhere to stay, somewhere in Block A?” he suggested. He reached over and put a hand on the alien’s shoulder. Tenor’s eyes fluttered. They looked honored and awed by just the hand on their shoulder.

         “Oh, you’re staying on with us, Tenny?” Pidge asked.

         “I…” they were understandably confused, only their middle eyes were open now, darting around to try to find someone else with an answer.

         “I don’t want to be presumptuous, but if you wouldn’t mind staying on for a little while, I think you could be a great assistance to us here,” Shiro said. “The A Block is the long term residence area,” he explained.

         “Oh… yes. Yes, I could do that!” Tener agreed, nodding quickly as their expression shifted from confused to disbelieving.

         “That’d be perfect! Katie needs someone who can out hack her anyway,” Matt announced.

         “Pfft! Out hack me?” Pidge scoffed, “Please, Matt. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said rolling her eyes at her older brother.

         “I might not, but I'm sure Tenny will,” Matt said with a grin. Tener clearly didn’t know what to do with this interaction. Pidge’s status had made them a little wearier of her than they had been moments before, similar to how they shied away from Shiro.

        It was only then that the group noticed that Mr. Holt had disappeared somewhere during the conversation. It didn’t take long to spot him, mostly because of the company he found himself in. Coran and Sam were nearly causing a traffic jam as Coran’s hands shifted from directing traffic to animatedly talking with the Holt Family patriarch.

         “Oh no,” said Shiro.

         “Oh no?” asked Matt.

         “Definitely ‘oh no’,” Pidge agreed. “They’re never going to stop talking,” she turned to Matt. “Coran might be _more_ chatty than Dad,” she explained, turning to him in grave seriousness.

         “Impossible,” Matt said, then watched the two, interrupting each other in a happy chaos of smiles and chatter. “Oh no,” Matt finally agreed. He looked to his little sister. “Well, this is why you get into the hero business, right Katie? Go save the world.” Pidge groaned.

         “If I die from rapid fire dad puns, I’m blaming you,” she said with an accusatory glare.

         “You’ll have the most beautiful funeral pyre the galaxy has ever seen to honor your death,” Matt said, hand to his chest.

         “Damn right,” she agreed. She took Tener’s hand, who took that as an okay to wrap themself around Pidge’s arm. Pidge made a bit of a face, but when Matt acted like it was normal, she accepted it. The pair marched bravely into the true warzone.

         “They’ll die from the crushing force of hundreds of thousands of ‘fun’ facts,” Shiro said, grimly.

         “And we will mourn my baby sister… after dinner,” Matt said, looking up at Shiro. “Or Lunch or whichever meal is going on. I have no idea what time the castle runs on.”

         “Altean,” Shiro replied.

         “Old school. Still no idea what meal you’re taking me out for,” he said.

         “Taking you out?” he asked, with a raise of an eyebrow.

         “Or in or wherever you want me. I just need to get something in me,” he replied, then frowned, “Food, that is. Wow, that wasn’t even intentionally dirty. I gotta work on this…” Shiro just laughed and started out of the congested staging area, gesturing for Matt to follow.

        Matt looked at a few of the refugees as they walked through the large hall. He almost paused a few times.

         “You okay?” Shiro asked, his voice quiet.

         “Yeah,” he let out a breath, “Pidge told me not to worry. That they would be okay. It’s hard to just…”

         “I know, but you need rest too,” he reminded. “And eat. They’re all being fed and we have healing pods. This isn’t the first time we’ve taken on people freed from Galra labor camps. It’s under control.” His voice was excessively steady and calming. Matt laughed.

         “That’s your ‘this freshman is freaking out and about to cry over exams’ voice, you know. I don’t look that bad, do I?” he asked.

         “No, but you look tired and like you need some food and a nap,” he said, his tone unchanged. Matt just had to accept that, yes, he looked as bad off as a desperately overwhelmed freshman. All the same, this was something he missed; having someone take care of him, even if it was just in little ways. He hadn’t had that luxury since… well since Shiro had leapt on him and forced out of the fighting arenas.

         “All right. Food and a nap, then I’ll fret over things,” he agreed. Shiro grinned at him, and he might have agreed to almost anything if he was prompted by that smile. It was a lucky thing Shiro only used his powers for good.

        Shiro led him to Personal Quarters: Block A. The room he showed him, as an example, just happened to be the room next to his. He said, quickly, that Matt could take any of the rooms that weren’t already occupied by the other paladins.

         “I can’t kick Katie out of her room for a better view?” he’d asked with a pout.

         “That’s between you and her,” Shiro replied, putting his hands up.

         “I think this one will be fine,” he said nodding to the room Shiro had suggested, the room next to his. Shiro’s smile was cute. _HE_ was cute. Matt wanted him to kiss him again, but he was being ushered towards the kitchen too soon to decide how to demand it.

        There was a large dining hall, but Shiro explained that smaller one was more often used by the team. In the paladin dining hall, he was told he could take anything he found in the fridge. He was given a quick but enthusiastic explanation about the wonders of Hunk’s cooking, and the goop. Despite the praise of Hunk's cooking skills, Matt opted for goop. He realized after so long in captivity, and then on the run, and then captivity again… well the concept of choosing a meal was a little too much for him. He was too tired to make that mental adjustment yet. The idea sounded amazing, real food and all. The goop was simple, though, and didn’t require thought.

        He felt the fatigue hit him as soon as he sat down, spork in hand. The spork might have weighed a hundred pounds as far as his arm was concerned. It was a labor to pick it up and bring it to his mouth. It felt like the moment he let his body relax, let himself realize that he _could_ rest, all the adrenaline and will that had held him together for the days and months and, hell, years, was gone. Everything that had kept him moving and pinned together was seeping out as soon as he loosened his strangle hold on it. All the sleep he didn’t get, the nutrition he’d lacked, the fatigue that had seeped into his soul, swept over him.

        Shiro had to almost carry him to his new room. He sunk into the bed and realized how long it had been since he’d had a bed. An actual bed. Even longer since he’d had an actual bed and gravity at the same time. Not since he was on Earth…

 

 

        In the hours that followed, news had gotten around. Pidge was almost as bad of a gossip as his brother, even though she pretended she wasn’t. She was more covert about it, but she always had all the juiciest information and was quick to distribute it. Shiro realized something had happened when he walked into the rec room and four pairs of eyes instantly turned to him, a heated debate paused dead in its tracks. He instantly knew he should have stayed on with Coran for another couple hours, making sure rooms were assigned right.

         “Perfect,” Lance chimed. That wasn’t a good sign.

         “Why?” he asked, leerily. He searched the paladin’s trying to read something from their expressions.

         “It’s your fault we’re even having this conversation is why,” Keith said, less than thrilled with whatever the topic was.

         “What conversation?” he asked, even though he got the distinct feeling that turning around and walking out would have been a much better idea.

         “Well we were talking about-“ “How many people have you-“ “Why do we even need to ask him-,” “This is for science-“ all the paladin’s voices rang out at once. This was clearly going to be a mess whatever it was. Shiro barely kept his feet from turning himself about and walking right out.

        The paladins shared a look, deciding who got to start them off. Finally, they conceded to Lance, who was clearly the most enthused of the group.

         “How many people have you kissed, Shiro?” he asked, delighted with the opportunity to ask their oldest member such a personal question. When he was silent for a moment, Lance decided to go on. “I mean, now that I have gotten a couple of alien kisses—Not intentionally Keith and I don’t want to hear anything from you after you accidentally proposed to the Riizean diplomat,” he said. Keith was pouting, which was almost worth dealing with the question. “And Hunk has only kissed one person, that wasn’t like his grandma,” he explained.

         “And I haven’t even bothered because I’m too busy, you know, not giving a shit,” Pidge piped up.

         “Yeah, and Pidge is a sad lonely little gremlin,” Lance confirmed.

         “Just because I’m not desperately seeking validation from outside-“ Pidge started, but Lance cut her off.

         “Okay, just because you’re not into dating doesn’t make you superior Pidge. Don’t try to play that bullshit. You swoon at a good piece of tech and are just as likely to get us killed because you have to go back for a motherboard, or whatever, as I am to get us stuck saving a damsel in distress,” Lance argued.

         “You say that, but I haven’t _actually_ gotten us caught trying to get tech. You on the other hand…” Pidge trailed off.

         “Hey hey hey!” he said, stepping up to Pidge. “I was being _heroic_.”

         “Lance, even I’m not buying that one,” Hunk said from the sidelines.

         “Hunk!” Lance cried outraged, head shooting towards him.

         “I could have gotten to her, saved her, and not put any of us in danger,” Keith reminded.

         “Keith!” Lance cried out again, doubly betrayed. It was then that they noticed that Shiro was still working things out with his fingers quietly to the side. When he stopped he didn’t speak up. If how many times he tapped through his fingers hadn’t been suspicious enough, the silence damned him.

         “Oh my god, Shiro! How many people have you kissed?” Lance burst, because, despite Shiro’s rippling muscles, he’d always seemed to Lance like the sort of guy that would button up to the very top button, even though his pecks would make the shirt gap three below. He seemed like the sort that took kissing a little _too_ seriously and did it after a very official sort of date where he walked you to your door. He _seemed_ like that sort.

        Shiro cleared his throat, “I don’t know,” he said.

         “Oh come on!” Lance shouted as Pidge leapt forward to the edge of the couch.

         “I don’t buy it! You gotta spill!” she said, pushing up her glasses in a way that was unnervingly like her older brother. He knew what it meant from both of them, there was no way he was getting out of answering.

         “Why are you all acting so surprised?” Keith asked. “Everyone at the Garrison had a crush on him.”

         “What, like you?” Lance shot back in a childish tone.

         “Oh, come on, Lance. You had _that_ Garrison Pilot Program brochure saved, with that one picture of Shiro...” Hunk said and Lance turned just a little pink.

         “Yeah! Lance and every other student,” Pidge cut in, “I think some of the staff too.” Shiro’s eyes fluttered, trying to take in all this new information.

         “I feel like I’m learning a lot about the Garrison right now…” he muttered to himself. “Wait, what picture of me was this?” he asked, trying to remember when his picture had been used for a brochure.

         “The one they took right before your first mission to Mars, with the arms crossed and the smirk,” Keith supplied, trying to sound casual.

         “So, you DID have it!” Lance shouted triumphantly.

         “Everyone did!” Keith, Hunk, and Pidge shot back in unison.

         “20-something to maybe 50ish,” Shiro stated flatly, changing the subject. “What?”

        Everyone was staring. Finally, Pidge spoke up.

         “How do you have that large of a range of uncertainty?” she asked, not knowing where else to start.

         “I don’t know how many times were actually different people and… well,” he shrugged.

         “What? Were you trying to kiss everyone in the garrison?” Lance burst.

         “Not intentionally,” he replied.

         “Why wasn’t I in your class?” Hunk replied in a sigh without thinking. Everyone stared, except Lance, who burst out with a laugh and smacked him on his shoulder.

         “You and me both, buddy!” he said, doubling over in full on guffaws of laughter.

         “How many people did you _date_?” Pidge pressed forward. When Shiro just shrugged, she gasped, “You were a loose tongued hussy!” Lance was crying, only off the floor because he had clung to Hunk for support.

         “Now he never said they were all with tongue. Maybe they were just pecks,” Hunk offered. There was silence. “Shiro! You loose tongued hussy!” he accused. Lance choked.

         “I still don’t see why you’re all so surprised,” Keith said, though he was still wearing a small pout. It was unclear which portion of this didn’t quite sit well with him. It might have been Shiro being harassed. It also might have been because he’d been outed for having the quintessential 'had a crush on Shiro' picture, because that apparently was a thing. It was most likely just the discussion of crushes at all. It'd never been something Keith felt he understood enough to joke about.

        The paladins were on the brink of a thousand different questions for Shiro, when a voice interjected from behind him. “I can confirm. Shiro kissed half our graduating class.” Shiro started and turned around sharply to find a yawning Matt standing in the doorway.

         “Not _half_ ,” he protested. The rest of the paladins looked delighted to get any dirt on Shiro. He had always seemed so dignified and above this sort of gossip. Matt changed the game. Shiro glanced from Matt to the rest of the paladins. He could see the twinkle in their eyes.

         “I’m rounding up, but you were getting close by the time you were writing up your thesis,” he said. He yawned again.

         “So, Matt!” Lance started enthusiastically. Mischief was brewing behind his eyes and Shiro couldn’t let this go on. There were some stories that should stay in college. In fact, there were _a lot_ of stories that should stay in college.

         “You look like you need a pick me up. Let me show you where the Space Coffee is. Hunk has found some great stuff. Smells just like coffee, tastes like a pumpkin spice latte. Come on,” he cut in, speaking over any protests and turning Matt out of the room. Matt just grinned and stumbled out ahead of him.

        Not knowing where else to take him, Shiro found himself pushing Matt back to the personal quarters. He didn't stop until they were safely in his room. He let out a sigh of relief.

         “I know you were just trying to avoid me spilling your secret, dark past, but I thought you’d at least actually get me that Pumpkin Space Latte,” Matt said.

         “Oh, I guess I could,” Shiro said, looking back to the door, he ignored the pun, to relieved to even scold him.

         “Nah, it’s fine,” he replied through a yawn. He shuffled over to Shiro’s desk and, kicking out the chair, plopped himself down. Shiro nodded and sat himself down at his bed next to him. Shiro gave Matt a moment to slowly bring himself to full consciousness. He always had been slow to wake up from naps.

        Matt broke the silence with. “I think you’re higher than 40.”

         “Well, now I’m at least at 41,” he replied. Matt snorted quietly. “We should talk about that kiss,” he said matter of factly.

         “Probably,” Matt agreed, his expression a little more subdued. He looked different without glasses. It was still strange to look at his face so… uncensored. He’d spent too many years staring at him behind those big round sheets of glass. It was a little overwhelming, particularly when he knew he had something serious to say.

         “I’m sorry if it was sudden,” Shiro started. “I had just…”  he leaned forward onto his arms, resting on his legs, lacing his fingers together to give himself stability as he searched for the words. “I spent a lot of time telling Pidge—uh Katie, that we’d find you. Every time we tracked down a prison camp. Every time we took down a warship. Every time we found prisoner rosters and your names never were on them. I had to tell her, and make her believe, that we really would find you. I think I pushed all that hope out to the surface when I was with her. So, as soon as I was alone… I felt hallow. We kept not finding you, over and over. Somewhere in the back of my head, I really thought you were gone. I couldn’t imagine opening a cell door and finding you anymore.” He was still staring at his hands, frowning intensely at them. He hated to admit he lost hope, that he hadn’t been strong enough. Matt’s hand came into view, wrapping around his.

         “It’s okay,” Matt said, “You kept looking. That’s more than I could have asked while you guys were doing such important things.”

         “Finding both of you was important,” he replied solidly. Matt patted Shiro’s hand roughly, seeming embarrassed, but his slight flush lightened the air. Shiro let his hands loosen their tight grip on each other.

         “I hadn’t thought about kissing you when we found you.” He pushed himself up, hands now on his knees. “I didn’t think that would be my first reaction,” he admitted.

         “Oh?” Matt asked, after a pause he added, “You never thought about it before?” And Shiro recognized there was no surprise in his voice. That made it all the more important he set the record straight.

         “I had definitely thought about kissing you before,” he clarified.

         “Oh?” Matt repeated, more enthusiastic this time. His eyes jumped up to Shiro’s, and his eyebrow shot up just as quickly. That was the ‘details’ look. Shiro chuckled. This was some good gossip, admittedly, even if it was about himself.

         “Actually, when we got back from Korberos, I was planning on asking you to be my roommate,” he said.

         “Move in together?” Matt asked, surprised. “Going from 0 to 60 there, don’t you think?” he teased.

         “I know. But I was really going to ask you to just be my roomate, when I first thought about it at least,” he explained, “But then— do you remember that time you were determined to pay me back for bringing you coffee every Friday? And forcing you to take breaks from the lab?” He didn’t wait for a response, “You were so set on helping me on that term paper I was pulling an all-nighter on.” He chuckled remembering the endless supply of snacks and coffee that Matt had come prepared with. “But by 2 am you were on the floor, half asleep. When I teased you about abandoning me, you crawled over and sat next to me, assuring me you were awake before promptly falling back asleep and drooling on my thigh.”

        Matt slapped a hand over his face, embarrassed, “What?” Shiro asked.

        Matt waved his hand, “Ask me later. Sorry, go on,” Matt said, still covering a slightly pink face. After a hesitant pause, curiosity burning in him, Shiro went on anyway.

         “Well, I remembered how right it felt having you right there with me at the weird hours of the night and-,” he cleared his throat and looked away for a moment.

         “What?” Matt asked, entirely too excited to know what juicy confession was coming. He nearly vibrated with anticipation. He had always been a gossip monger.

         “I’m sorry I never owned up to this, but it had been a long night. When I realized you were asleep again, I leaned down and kissed the top of your head,” Shiro threw up a defensive hand, “Just a peck” he assured, “And I think that was probably the gayest thing I had ever done,” he paused, “Okay, maybe making out with Brad at that particularly drunk new year’s party aside… No. No, actually I think that the head kiss was still gayer, because I really meant it and did it stone cold sober.” Shiro noticed that Matt was basically cradling his face in his hands, which he had sunk down into.

         “That party,” Matt groaned, having a hard time wrenching his head out of his hands to even look at Shiro. “Do you know, you could have killed me at that party. You _nearly_ killed me,” he informed.

         “What?” Shiro asked in mild alarm.

         “Just with the fact that you were making out with a _guy_. I mean… Mia and Catherine and all of them too. But I was the DD that night. I promised to get half the party’s butts back across the base at the end of it all,” he reminded. “There was this moment, where you gave me this _look_ and I wanted, with every fiber of my being, to have the excuse to be drunk enough to jump in there and be your, what? Fourth? Fifth? Midnight kiss?” Matt laughed, looking away, “But I was so sober and you were so not.”

         “So, you thought about kissing me too?” Shiro asked with a little smirk. It was nice to get some sort of return for all his confessing.

         “Every day you brought me coffee!” Matt said, nearly deflating as he fell back into his chair, exhausted from just the memory. “You’d pop your head in, holding the coffee outside the lab and just look so _bright_. It was probably a good thing you are a good foot taller than me, because otherwise I might have just leaned out of the lab and kissed you one of those days. I was simultaneously so thankful and so frustrated with how tall you were. It kept me from doing anything _too_ impulsive because you were as good as a million miles away.” Matt’s brow was knit up, reliving his previous frustrations.

         “Wow. I don’t think I would have even known how to react back then,” he admitted, thinking back. He tried to remember how aware of his feelings he’d been.

         “I didn’t know what to do when you kissed me _yesterday_ ,” Matt retorted.

         “Yeah… sorry,” he replied, pulling a hand to the back of his head sheepishly.

         “Don’t say _sorry_.” Matt’s voice was stern.

         “Alright, then… your welcome?” Shiro tried, slowly letting his hand drop.

         “Damn right,” he said, and that made Shiro laugh. It was so rare for Matt to swear that it always caught him off guard. He considered his next words before he said, “So, I got more than one kiss yesterday… Care to explain that one?”

         “Yeah! Right,” Shiro said, jumping to attention. He’d been so smitten with all this reminiscing, he’d almost lost track of the real problem at hand. “While I’ve been travelling around and we’ve been fighting and everything over this past few years, Allura and I have grown really close. She’s been,” he sighed, smiling lightly, “She’s been a pillar of strength for me, and I hope I’ve returned the favor some.”

         “So… you love her,” Matt asked for clarification, his voice soft.

         “I think so…” he admitted.

         “Then, I’m happy for you,” Matt said, and Shiro instantly realized where his thoughts were going.

         “I love _you_ ,” He said instantly. Matt stared, wide eyed at the confession. It might have been too blunt, he didn’t look like he was even breathing, but Shiro soldiered on, “I—wow, this just feels so selfish to ask. But I just… you both mean a lot to me. I’m not trying to ask for any sort of big commitment, but if you’d-I don’t know if you’d even be interested, but if you’d want to get to know her…” he trailed off for a moment and picked up again, meeker than usual, “She said she’d love to get to know you, and…” Shiro had thought he’d find the words when the question was at hand, but he should have thought them out ahead of time, as it turned out. He felt his brain fizzle into stuttering vagueness. No matter how much he’d rationalized it, it felt impossible to say the words without them seeming selfish, or loaded, or unwarranted. The request felt like too much.

         “Shiro…” Matt said and paused. He leaned in closer and gestured for him to lean in too. He obliged, closing the distance between them. Matt pressed his forehead against his, “I… don’t know your Princess Allura, but I know I love you too, and she’s important to you.” He laid his hand over Shiro’s, clutching at his knee. “I don’t know how I’ll feel, but I’d like to get to know her,” Matt said. Shiro’s head nodded, moving Matt’s with it. Matt was only able to keep serious for a few moments before he burst out a bubbly nervous laugh. He leaned his head down, his forehead slipping off Shiro’s and landing on his shoulder.

         “What?” Shiro sounded stuck between worried and laughing with him.

         “Between you and this ancient, beautiful alien princess, I’m not sure what I did to deserve so many gorgeous people in my life,” he said. Shiro snorted and shoved Matt back lightly, “Really,” he insisted. “You are just, hands down the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen. Then Allura? I got a kiss from someone so objectively beautiful?”

         “You might want to keep that one from Lance for now, by the way. He might get a little jealous,” Shiro informed, only mostly joking.

         “Who _wouldn’t_ be jealous of me right now?” he asked, a bit louder. He was grinning a goofy grin that made Shiro want to kiss him again. It brought him back to Earth and the Garrison, and a time before the world was on his shoulders. He laughed instead.

         “So, this isn’t weird for me to ask?” he said.

         “I mean, probably weird,” Matt replied, “but I went from trying to find single celled organisms in the ice of moons, to being face to face with living, breathing aliens. In fact, surrounded by so many I didn’t even have time to start to categorize all the biological diversity going on. And then I was part of an intergalactic rebellion. And then I’m being rescued by giant robot lions and kissing princesses! I think I can handle a little bit of weird. At least, if I get to kiss you again.” He smirked.

         “Any time you want,” Shiro assured. It took him far too long before he realized what the silent, expectant stare that followed meant. “Oh, yeah, of course,” he said. He swooped in. Matt’s hands found their way to either side of his face to pull him in and their lips brushed together lightly. He felt silly being nervous. He’d kissed lots of people, hell, he’d even kissed Matt now. Having permission to, though, felt different. His mind wandering back to that party. To drunkenly kissing his friends at midnight, and Matt being the poor DD for the whole lot of drunk graduate students. His hands found Matt’s shoulders and shoved him away before their lips more than brushed.

         “You kissed me!” Shiro accused. Matt’s eyes fluttered, startled with the sudden change of pace. “After that new years party!” he elaborated. The confusion only deepened, brows furrowing, until they shot back up.

         “Oh my god! You choose _now_ to remember that? That absolutely does not count anyway,” Matt shot back, just barely more exasperated than amused, though the emotions still fought on his face.

         “It’s at least as bad as my kissing you on the top of the head,” Shiro insisted.

         “Hey! You tried to climb on top of me, asking for me to make out with you, and I kissed the sticker on your cheek to placate you,” Matt insisted. Shiro’s eyes narrowed, thinking back again.

         “Oh yeah… the stickers,” he recalled hazily. He tried to remember the point of the stickers, but the drunken logic was too far gone for his sober mind to decipher.

         “Yeah. See why that was a difficult night for me?” Matt asked. Shiro nodded.

         “I guess… I asked you to kiss me, didn’t I?” Shiro asked. Matt snorted.

         “At least you were kind enough to ask. I don’t think you stopped to get permission from anyone else that night,” he teased. Shiro was turning progressively redder.

         “I probably knew it’d mean something if I kissed you,” he said, “It wouldn’t just be messing around.” Matt didn’t respond for a heavy second.

         “I think… you just thought you could get laid if you played the chivalrous bro thing up,” Matt accused flatly.

         “Matt! You have to stop exposing me like this!” he half shouted. Matt was pulling him back in.

         “It wasn’t a bad plan, just bad timing,” he teased, putting a chaste kiss on his cheek before letting him go. “Anyway, you have permission to woo me however you see fit now,” he tagged on.

        “Noted,” Shiro said. The grin on his face felt foreign. It was a grin he hadn’t felt silly enough for in a long time. The nostalgia flowing through him brought it bubbling up onto his lips. Matt kissed it, and he was happy to share it with him. Something old smothered by something new. Something that was a mix between the two. It felt right...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates on this will still probably be random and slow, sorry! I am working on some Voltron AUs and short Pidge episodic stories. Plus, you know, all those non-voltron fics.... (so many WIPs @___@). But There are still at least a couple more chapters to be had here! And they should come eventually!
> 
> (also to any who read [the first fic in this series](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7999129), yes those are the same aliens that they talked about Keith accidentally flirting with in [that one chapter](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7999129/chapters/18504100), and no, no one has figured out what he's doing to get them all hot and bothered. They suspect Coran knows, but is having too much fun watching him flounder.)


End file.
